How To Gain Weight

 After I had Davis, I learned a couple things. Now I'm going to share them with you. 

Mostly, I've learned how to gain POST-BABY weight. 

Now, now...gaining weight is pretty hard..so let me tell you some sure-fire ways to pack on those LBS. 

#1 ALWAYS EAT YOUR BABIES FOOD

He's having Mac & Cheese? Oh..you better eat some of that stuff too. 

Pancakes? Yes. Yogurt? Yes. Eat it ALL. Even if you JUST ate your own food before.

If he leaves some on his plate, now is your best chance to gobble up the rest of it.

Don't leave ANYTHING left on that plate, ya hear me?! That's a HUGE no no.

#2 WORKOUT...OH...ALMOST NEVER

If by "workout" you think I'm talking about running or going to the gym - you're wrong.

I mean, consider that running outside with your 15 month old for ten minutes is a good enough workout for the day. Never..and I mean NEVER go downstairs to that treadmill and actually run on it. Heaven forbid. 

#3 EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH NO REGRETS

You know when you are eating, and you look down at your stomach, and suddenly, you think - am I pregnant? Oh nope..that's just a big ol' food baby. Yup. That's the goal. 

Eat whatever you want. Candy, cookies, chips, etc. My fave? Halloween candy that was on the shelves in August. That's an awesome idea. And especially eat late at night after your husband has gone to bed so you don't feel ashamed about it. Then hide all of the wrappers so he doesn't see them.

Oh...and eat guacamole & chips like they're going out of style. 

#4 TELL YOURSELF IT'S OK..BECAUSE YOU "JUST HAD A BABY"

This one is my favorite. I've been saying this for 15 months and I still love this excuse. 

It works like a charm if you want to keep gaining weight. 

So there you have it. Now..go...eat some Halloween Candy and check that one off the list. 

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In all seriousness (that was all sarcasm, if you are kinda slow ;)...this is what I've been telling myself for the last year. I'm in a rut. I need to change. I used to be REALLY into working out and eating pretty healthy. I looked great at one time, and I actually felt really good about my body. After baby...not so much. I've managed to keep most of my baby weight cleverly hidden under my clothes, and avoid mirrors when I'm nekkid. 

And can I tell you how much I love Fall? I mean, layers & layers of clothes to hide all that junk I eat? Yes, please. 

I'm just not happy with my body, if I'm being completely honest. After having a baby, it does something to your psyche. I don't think I've ever fully admitted or come to terms with what pregnancy did to my body. Stretch marks, acne scarring, and saggy skin are NOT things you really wish upon yourself. And no, I would never EVER take back the wonderful blessing that is my baby boy. Ever. 

I mean look at him - he loves me! :)

But at the same time, I think I would be lying if I said that I would give anything 

to have my old body back. 

Now..I'm not saying I'm this huge, fat, beast walking around.
And I'm not fishing for compliments--but if you want to give me some, go ahead ;).
And I'm REALLY trying to not make this sound like a pity party (is it working?).

I'm more just getting this out there, because I've been feeling really crappy. So I've been (for the last week anyway) REALLY REALLY trying to lose the rest of this baby weight. My goal is to be at my pre-baby weight (before I decide to have another one). 

Now, I ACTUALLY am really off to go run on my treadmill! HOLLA!
So wish me luck...I'm going to need it!!

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