Yesterday, I missed one of my favorite things to do - rant about stuff that bugs me. Ha.
So, I'm gonna do it today - cause it's never too late to get on your soapbox & complain. Just for the sake of it.
When I was little, my Grandma would regale me with stories about the "good ol' days" of flying. Where people dressed up to fly, they treated you like queens & kings of the air, and you felt like a million bucks when you stepped off the plane.
As I have grown up, I've traveled on a plane a lot. Some for family vacays, some for work, some for personal vacations, etc. When I was 21, I thought it was SO FUN to fly by myself. The thrill of it all.
After about 2 flights, that wore off real quick. Why? Cause people at the airport bug the living crap outta me.
ANNOYING AIRPORT GUY #1 - THE ENTITLED FIRST CLASS PASSENGER.
You check in, then wait in another line to check your bag in. You're waiting patiently in line. Then there's that freakin' first class line. I get it people, you have lots money to spend, you pay extra money for that. Hey, I don't blame you. If I had money to burn, so would I. So you get to go in your own separate line, where the class system is still in full effect, apparently. I swear Yelling, "Excuse me?! Excuse me?! Helllllooooo?" 45 times so the airline attendant is sure to hear you.Then, yelling some more when you hear your plane is delayed. What would you like her to do, get you your own plane? Probably so. I get it. You have money coming out of your monkey butt. Just don't be an a** just for the sake of being one.
ANNOYING AIRPORT GUY#2 - THE GUY THAT IS CLUELESS ABOUT HOW TO REMOVE HIS CLOTHES IN THE SECURITY LANE.
So, after you've waited in the line for an hour, you get the glorious task of removing your shoes, belts, jewelry, and jackets and placing them in a disgusting grey bin. You are standing there, in your socks with all your crap in that bin, patiently waiting to stand in that even more awkward tube where air blows in places it shouldn't. Extra fun points? When the guy in front of you, who's never prepared for this security line for some reason? Has to take off all his ghetto gold jewelry, belts (who wears two belts? This guy.), and then proceeds to SIT on the floor to untie his shoelaces. Ever heard of slip-ons? Get some, ASAP dude. After literally 10 minutes, he is finally ready to go through...but then...BEEP! BEEP! Oh whoops he forgot to take off even more jewelry. I swear. THIS guy. It's happened to me about 17 times. I kid you not.
ANNOYING AIRPORT GUY#3 - THE OBLIVIOUS TO THE PERSON BEHIND HIM SO HE RECLINES HIS SEAT BACK AAAAAALL THE WAY GUY.
Every flight this happens to me. I'm 5'10, so I need all the leg room I can get. It never fails, though. Some entitled dude acts like he doesn't know there's someone sitting behind him, and reclines his seat all the way back, squishing my long legs in the process. Then, proceeds to fall asleep, toss and turn and push my legs further into my stomach with every motion. Good times.
ANNOYING AIRPORT GUY#4 - THE BLUE TOOTH GUY.
I mean. I could just leave it at that, really. This guy thinks he owns the plane. We are in a tiny little plane, in an already squished place, and you think YOUR business is more important than the people around you who AREN'T on their cellphones. Oh, excuuuuuse me...he has that freakin' blue tooth headset in, so he MUST be more important than the rest of us. But no, no, please go ahead an continue to talk about whatever business-y crap that you need to talk about. Even after the flight attendant tells you to get off your phone. By all means, go ahead. Keep being an a-hole. We appreciate it.
ANNOYING AIRPORT GUY #4 - THE SHOVE YOUR BAG INTO AN OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT AND HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH YOUR BIG SWEATY GUT GUY
I wish I could say this has only happened to me once. But alas, not the case. Don't even get me started on the carry-on bag situation. We all know it's ridiculous. Then, there's that guy, who's always LAST on the plane, scrambling to find a spot for his waaaaaay too big carry-on, which is filled with hamburgers and fries & inappropriate magazines (true story), who always seems to find an empty spot above my head and weasels it into the bin, whilst shoving his huge gut into my face for what seems to be like 5 minutes. You're lucky I'm polite or I'd poke that big disgusting belly with my pen and call you the Pilsbury Dougboy. Hoo hoo!
ANNOYING AIRPORT GUY #5 - THE I HAVE TO GET OFF THE PLANE AS SOON AS WE CAN UNBUCKLE OUR SEAT BELT GUY.
The plane lands. The fasten seat belt sign is turned off. Then, all of a sudden, it's a MAD DASH to get the heck off the plane. I get it, it's not fun to be squished next to stinky breath guy or get-up-and-go-to-the-bathroom-guy-five-times guy, but really?? You KNOW they're not going to open the door for atleast 10 more minutes. Sit your butt down, and just wait! You don't need to push past 10 people to get your huge bag out of the bin. You just stand up, then wait some more. Sit down and play one more game of Dots for Pete's sake. Do us all a favor and RELAX. The plane isn't going anywhere - and neither are you until that door opens!
ANNOYING AIRPORT LADY#6 - THE COMPLETELY IGNORE YOUR SCREAMING BABY LADY.
I have to say this one verrrry carefully. I have a kid. I get it. Sometimes, they scream. They cry. Especially on flights when their poor ears are plugged up. I have sat next to numerous Moms with babies, and some are great with helping their kids stay busy & happy. I'm not judging the baby. But the Moms that COMPLETELY ignore the screaming baby, to the point where the flight attendant has to come over and ask if she can help, are just plain RUDE. How can you just ignore your screaming baby? The rest of us have ears, and we can hear that crying baby. Oh yes, we can. TRY something. DO something to try and help that unhappy baby. At least you're TRYING! Please!
Awwwwwwwwwww I feel so much better! Hehe. Did I miss anyone? Do tell. We can relish in our annoyance together! :)