July 23, 2013

On Having Two Kids...

I've never been someone that wanted kids. When I was dating my hubby, I remember us having "the conversation" about kids. He said he would probably want 2...maybe 3. I said I didn't know if I wanted to have any. Ever. I had been on the not-wanting-to-have-kids-ever side of the fence since I can remember.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE kids. I love my little cousins, my friends' kids...heck - I even taught at a school in a 3rd Grade Class (if ANYthing can/should deter you from wanting your own kids, just try teaching a class of 30 little rugrats). But...I fell in love with them.

So eventually, as I got older, having a baby felt like something I neeeded to do. Like for the good of my soul. I started to get this feeling like I was meant to have at least one baby. Call it a biological clock, or whatever...but suddenly I wanted a baby. BAD. And so we had one (I mean, that's how it happens, right? You just want one and you get one. Hehe.)

Davis arrived and BOOM! BAM! BAZINGA! I was a Mom.

{my little drawing of me & my two fave people}

I've loved almost every minute of being a Mama to him (except for these terrible two tantrums! Ha). I mean, he's pretty flippin' awesome, this one. I know every Mom says that. But seriously - he is the light of my life. He fills my soul with happiness and joy.

Now that we are having baby #2, I just came to the realization that I'm going to be a mom of KIDS -- PLURAL!!! 

All of my friends keep popping out kids like it's no big deal. They all W A N T more than two kids. I have friends MY AGE that have 4 kids already. I have one that has 5! 5 kids...and she's 29 (granted, I do live in Utah..but still)!!

I've just never envisioned myself having more than two kids. Why do I feel like a bad person for only wanting to have 2 of them? I shouldn't. I just feel like some people are like "BORN" to be Moms of lots of kids. They can handle it. I just know I'm not one of those people. I love my kid...but I love my sanity more. ;)

I know I'm capable of handling one..but this fear is creeping in - can I handle two of them? 

The worries start overtaking my brain.....

Can I share my love for baby girl as much as I love Davis? 
Will I have time for Davis? 
How will Davis handle having a sister? 
Will I have quality time for my hubby & our relationship?
Can I teach D the things I want to and still have time to love on baby girl? 
Can I go to the grocery store with two kids and not lose my mind?
Will I ever have time to myself?
Am I going to have time to keep up on this blog? 
What is going to have to drop?
Can I keep up on my house? My errands? My projects? 
Will I be a good Mom to both of them? 

Yes. There are fears. They are definitely there. Am I going to be able to handle all of it? I really don't know they answer. I do know that you are only given what you are able to handle. So in some ways, I have faith that I CAN & WILL be able to do it.

I need to realize that I'm only human. I'm only one person. I may not be able to do it all with grace & style like I want to.

I'm going to need a lot of humor. A lot of patience. And a lot of baths. And chocolate. Yup. That sounds like a good plan.

I AM going to be able to do it...it might just take a little time to rock it out like I want to. Thanks for letting me vent, blog. You always know how to make me feel better. 

Did you have fears when you had more than one kid? How have you handled it? Tips? Tricks? Do tell.....

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  1. Oh girl it is SO normal to have those fears. Shoot even now I have them and doubt my abilities. Some days I am better at balancing at all and others I totally suck at it. I think once I learned to let go of the image of what I thought things should look like and not hold myself to a standard of perfection then I really started to let some of my fears go and say to myself "Self, you really sucked at the whole mom thing today, lets do better tomorrow" and know that with each new day comes a chance for me to tackle the chaos. You will Roch this lady!

  2. Not a mom yet...but I think it's safe to say most moms feel this way! Heck I did when I first got 2 dogs. You can do it!

  3. I love Michelle's advice above! That's one of the best parts of this blogging world - support, advice, and humor haha. You are so gonna rock this, girl.

  4. these are all such natural fears to have. but you know what? the second your baby is here, you'll realize that your heart expands and that you are capable of a love that you didn't even know existed. because of that, and that alone, you will be the best mama to those two babes. :)

  5. I had almost the same exact worries. I did a post about it and then a follow up after baby came. Here is a link to my follow up if it helps in any way http://the-rioses.blogspot.com/2013/06/follow-up-worries-about-baby-no-2.html

    I've found that two is definitely more work than 1, but we all find a way. You'll do great!

    I'm with you though, I don't think I can manage more than 2 kids and still be the mom/wife I want to be.

  6. Girl your worries TOTALLY normal! All you can do is suffer through them until baby girl arrives. Once she is in your life you will quickly realize that you can't imagine what life was like without her. Yes, you will have your crazy how will I ever survive days, but I promise you will surprise yourself with how capable you are. I'm a mom of two who has never been a fan of kids. And now I want a third. I'm not a perfect mom, but who is? Take it all one day at a time. XOXO

  7. I kinda think that fact that you ARE somewhat worried is a sign that you'll be a good mom of 2. Sometimes I think the people who are too blasé have no clue what they are in for! Plus, Davis is going to love having a sibling :)

    Luv ya!!

  8. You'll be great, Jenna! Take your time adjusting to this new life--6 months or so should do it. When I was pregnant with my second, I sort of wanted to be that kind of mom who can sew and refinish her kitchen cabinets and read books and put on makeup every day with two tiny kids in tow...yeah, it didn't work out. Spend some time figuring out what daily things are most important for you and your family to function happily--no more than four or five things every day! Really boil it down to the bare minimum for a while, and don't worry about anything else! My daily focal points were usually things like showering, keeping the dishes contained (husbands are good for that job!), having clean clothes (clean, not folded!), and doing one or two fun things with the kids each day, like taking them for a walk or spending a chunk of time reading picture books to them. Keep things low-key, and let Netflix be your best friend. Make sure your pantry and freezer are well stocked with your family's favorite healthy foods. And, like others said, take it one day at a time! :)

  9. I'm still on the none-for-me-thanks side of the fence. The weird thing is, I'm great with kids. Unless they're whiney and annoying, then, well then I need them to go away. I think you'll be perfectly fine with two. It's second nature and you're going to fall into the "mommy of 2" role without a problem. I've been so bad at reading blogs lately, do you have a name picked out?

  10. Oh my goodness! Another Ginger! Get out! YOu are so beautiful! I absolutely love redheads, and I AM ONE! haha go figure! Your are so cute and I am STOKED I found your blog!! New Follower!!

    Checking out your blog now!! :)



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